Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
