You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Who wears a wallet chain?!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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