Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
