I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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