JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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