I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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