the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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