Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize