Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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