Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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