and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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