i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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