You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
