is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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