I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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