Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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