Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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