I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize