Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it glows. i had to have it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
