i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
