I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize