Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
