remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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