Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
