There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
