I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
