you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
