she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
