Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sext me about skeletons
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize