By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
