he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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