just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
