Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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