i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.