Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
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I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
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Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's