I'm jealous of your bromance
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
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It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw