I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
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I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
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I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER