if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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