Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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