Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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