my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
