stop calling my apartment porn island.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize