if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
