you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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