I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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