I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
