what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
