jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
