I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
