He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize