when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
