At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
