So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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