I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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