I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
