I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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