i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize