YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
