and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
