I seem to have left my pride at pride
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
