Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
