But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
