At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
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There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
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Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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