so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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