weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
