Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
