I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
