you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize