So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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