Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize