i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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